1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
