Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
