I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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