True but thats because hes a fetus.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Randomize
