i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
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