One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
