so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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