I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
