I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
