Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
