I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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