My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
