Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Randomize
