so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
