eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
