I heard we made out
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
His nipple licking is glorious
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
