Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
