you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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