hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
