oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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