We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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