The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
