I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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