I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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