happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
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I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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