I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
