Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
