Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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