He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
