Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
