He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
