Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
