Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
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