not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
