i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
