If i come over, it means nothing
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
