Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Girls should come with a carfax report
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize