you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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