i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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