Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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