Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
