Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
