So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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