so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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