Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
