Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
