some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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