dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
