I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
