Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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