i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party