well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
about cumming, not toast
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"