You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.