DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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