5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
