What a fucking waste of an outfit
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think your dad took our porno
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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