i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
