dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
