me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
