omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
