I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
