you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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