highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
