i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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