At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
