Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Someone shit on the floor
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
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The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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