I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
if only i could text you this smell
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
