I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
