if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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